Tag Archives: love

I Love You—Why Is It So Hard For Him To Say?

Be A Love Detective bigstockphoto_close_up_on_love_3289620

“My husband never says, I love you anymore.”

Why is it that men are so resistant to the “L” word?

Why is it that women are so addicted to it?

Does saying “I love you” really matter?

What? You say.

Of course it matters. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t love me.

Wait just a moment….did you say that a man cannot love you without saying I love you?

Think about that one for a minute.

Is it possible for a man to love you WITHOUT telling you so? And why is it so bleeping important to HEAR those three little words.

That being said, is it also possible that our addiction to hearing those three words closes us to other expressions of love that are right in front of our noses?

I want to throw another perspective unto the table.

What if we women could back off on our insistence that love be expressed on our terms and our terms only?

What if we could become Love Detectives and search out the clues that lead to our understanding of just how much our men DO care for us?

What if we could put aside our need to hear those words and instead begin celebrating the clues we find?

I am listening……

I can just hear some of you screaming in protest! “I already do most of the work and don’t want to be a Love Detective! I want him to shape up!”

I know, I know but believe me, your man will step up to the plate when you take some of the pressure off of him. Believe it or not, he is doing the best he can. He has no idea how to make you feel loved and you and I both know that men don’t like to be in situations where they may appear weak and clueless.

So what to do?  Tune in tomorrow and I will lay out the plan…..

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Do You Still Believe In Soul Mates

Once upon a time, a young mom with a bright, beautiful future embraced her life with all of her heart.cat-kids21

She loved her children, her husband and her life. She had no idea what lay ahead for her. She adored being a mom and was lucky enough to be able to take a couple years off to spend at home with her kids.

What she couldn’t see happening at the time was the slow, steady and inevitable diminishing of her connection to her husband and their marriage. Who knows what the first clues were.

She didn’t hear her heart whispering to her, “Something is wrong here, recalculate your settings, you are closing yourself to the dreams of love for the sake of avoiding conflict and fighting.”

Because she couldn’t hear the wisdom of her heart, calling her to see LOVE as something she could nurture and invest in, she began FIGURING OUT how to find happiness.

Instead of living a HEART CENTERED LIFE, she cleverly created an INTELLECTUAL AND HEAD CENTERED LIFE that worked, or rather seemed to work, for many years.

She had no idea how much more difficult, in fact, how nearly impossible it is to create a sustainable relationship with HEAD CENTERED reasoning.

She felt strong and capable, and no, she DIDN’T FEEL LOVED, the way she felt others were loved, but she made her home, raised her children, went back to work and lived life figuring that FEELING DEEPLY LOVED was just not her fate.

Fast Forward…..Children grown, marriage in pieces, heavily medicated with anti depressant medication–a life changing AHA experience woke her up from her complacent coma and blasted her into a completely different world.

The girl in this picture, the 29 year old mom glowing with hope and purpose, is me. I am so glad that even though life has taken paths I never anticipated, I STILL BELIEVE IN LOVE…..1000%.

I believe in SOUL MATE LOVE even more than I ever did. I know my first husband was my soul mate. I loved him completely and focused my life around him. I have two fantastic children and the world’s cutest grandbaby.

I also have been blessed with a SECOND SOUL MATE….a second chance at love….a second chance at life as someone’s BELOVED.

DON’T GIVE UP ON LOVE.

IF YOU BELIEVE THERE IS A SOUL MATE OUT THERE……DON’T GIVE UP!

IF YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN BRING SOUL MATE LOVE BACK INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP….YOU ARE RIGHT!

Being someone’s BELOVED is a sweet deeply soul satisfying place to live.

I wish that for each and everyone of you!

Together we can create HEART CENTERED relationships, we have much to teach to one another and we MUST START AT HOME.

Can you be the SOULMATE OF YOUR SOUL? Are you willing to BE THE SOUL MATE your future partner is searching for?

Sound in….DO YOU STILL BELIEVE IN SOUL MATES?

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Do You Believe In Twin Flames?

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Gifts From Your Boyfriend: Top Ten Ways To Get What You Want For Christmas

10. Whine about what your best friend got and how you never get anything you like.bigstockphoto_grumpy_mrs_santa_2269456
9. Drag him to the mall with a notebook and stroll around pointing out things you like.
8. Remind him how much he botched the last three gift giving occasions.
7. Tell him how your last boyfriend always picked the best gifts for you.
6. Stop in front of every jewelry store and drool over diamonds.
5. Pick your favorite store and tell him a gift certificate from there is perfect.
3. Cut out pictures of things you like and tape them to his bathroom mirror.
2. Agree to a $25 limit and stick to it.
1. Ask him to plan a romantic evening for the two of you and surprise you!

Remember, he loves you. He knows that Christmas is special to you. He may just be insecure about buying you the perfect gift, especially if you want a ring. Be patient and kind. Praise him for being thoughtful and accept his gift with a sense of light heartedness and he will feel awesome for pleasing you!

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Is The Grinch Trying To Steal Your Christmas Cash?

Doesn’t it seem like the Grinch and Scrooge are stealing Christmas this year?

Santa Still Believes In Magicbigstockphoto_tropical_christmas_2137936

And so do I.

I am THRILLED to bits to be presenting a three part class with my new and amazing friend Nan Akasha. We met in the spring when I took one of her classes on the Spirit of Money. She is an amazing teacher and coach who specializes in getting to the heart of self doubt and self sabotage! She rocks!!

We are giving the first class to you as our Christmas Gift to you! It is scheduled for this Wednesday night, December 3, at 8 eastern, 7 central and 5 pacific.

Who couldn’t use a little extra Holiday Cash?

Click here for all the details! http://tinyurl.com/5b7k5n

We know it is last minute but boy is it worth it!!

Special Holiday Gift Catalog

What a lucky girl I am!! My friend Bonnie Snyder invited me to put my CD story “Five Lost Secrets To Attracting Love” in her holiday gift catalog!

I am delighted to support her efforts and you can find my CD as well as other fabulous self care gift items right here:

http://www.serenitypathways.com/docs/sp_holiday_catalog_2008.pdf

Thanks so much for all of the love and support this year! Christmas may be a bit of a challenge for some of us this year but I have a little secret….

Love is always there. Love soothes. Love comforts. Love brings life when things look bleak. Trust in love.

Bless you!
Catherine

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Kids With Your Ex For The Holidays? 5 Keys To Coping

My kids are adults.

Wonderful, successful, bright and shining stars in their worlds. I love them and respect how they have handled the break up of our family. My ex-husband and I both have good relationships with them and, as far as I am concerned, the past is firmly in the past.

I have since remarried and relocated. He is involved with a significant other and moving on.

Lots of feelings get stirred up as the holiday season approaches and sadness creeps right up on me.

I guess the better question is: Why am I surprised that I am sad?

We were married nearly 30 years and held the dream of happily ever after way beyond what makes sense nowbigstockphoto_sight_of_the_boy_in_a_new_year_1544949 as I look back. There was no happily ever after for us. Loss of our family unit, shared glee at our grandbaby’s toothless grin, mutual celebration of our daughter’s law school achievements and our son’s professional life.

This Thanksgiving, five years after the divorce, I am still a little blue. Picturing them with their dad and extended family aches. Every year it gets a little easier at holiday time, but it still aches.

What can we do? Here are five keys to coping with not being with your kids during the holidays. Do your kids a favor and pick at least one and commit to it. They need us to be grownup about it, it is the best holiday gift you can give them.

1. Redefine Happily Ever After: Who said there is no happily ever after? Of course there is! Each of us has walked past the family breakup into new and grand adventures. We have met new people, learned new things and made new memories. Repeat after me: I AM living happily ever after!

2. Rent A Sad Movie: Yes, you read right! It is a good thing to cry. I watched 28 Days this morning with Sandra Bullock. Funny and poignant family drama revolving around early childhood tragedy and the fall out. I found it easy to cry and some of my sadness melted away with the tears.

3. Write A Letter To Your Kids: No, you don’t need to send it! Just write from your heart and pour out your disappointment about not being able to be with them right now. Write how proud you are of them because you know how hard it is for them. Tell them that no matter what, both of you love them to pieces and you are doing your best to manage your own feelings.

4. Do The Gratitude Thing: You have heard it a million times….stay grateful. It is hardest when your emotions are all over the place, but you CAN do it. Thank goodness you are no longer married. Thank the Divine for your new relationships. Thank heaven for those wonderful children…a product of the two of you.

5. Clean a closet: What you say? Yes! There is no better time to do a little purging. Make some room for the new by getting rid of the old. Throw away, give away or have a garage sale. Plug in your Ipod with a good audio book or some old time rock and roll and get busy! Pass the time with mindless productivity, you will feel great when you are done.

While you kids may never be able to express themselves to you in this way, they will be deeply impacted by your taking care of your own emotions during this time. They are hyper-sensitive to your feelings and will have a much happier holiday when they see you using healthy ideas to make a better time for yourself when you have to be apart!

How about you? What tricks have you used to deal with broken family holiday blues?

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How To Make Your Man Miserable

Someone typed that into the Google window on their way to finding this blog and I couldn’t resist!

Why in the world would you want to make your man miserable anyway? The answer may surprise you!

If your relationship is taking on water and you are bailing as hard as you can to stay afloat, there are some things you can do to get him to share some of the work.

Women complain that “He just sits on the couch and tunes me out.”bigstockphoto_o_no_i_don_t_want_to_listen__307379

Then they tell their circle of friends all about it and what do you know….everyone jumps in and before you know it, you have each described your man’s weaknesses and bad habits heavily laced with mean spirited emotion.

Ladies, READ THIS CAREFULLY, the way to make your man miserable is to make yourself ecstatic!

Once he is left with his own grumpy self and can’t fling it at you, he just might start picking up the slack.

I know, I know, I can hear you: “But it isn’t fair….HE is causing all of the problems. If HE would get up off the couch and fix a few things around here, I wouldn’t be so stressed. Why should I do the changing when HE is the problem.”

Whenever you are talking more about him than yourself, you are in the PERFECT PLACE to make a radical shift in how you operate. Try these 5 ideas and see if you can rock your relationship world out of miserable and into restore mode:

1. When he is being a grump, go for a walk. A long one. Plug in your Ipod and listen to your favorite music and kick it into gear. Leave him alone with himself and refresh your mind and spirit!

2. If he is buried in his newspaper and not listening to you, light the corner of his paper with a match…..no, PLEASE DON’T DO THAT, even if you want to. Ask him to put the paper down and set a time for you to check in with each other. Tell him that you want to engage with him for 10 minutes and then stick to it!

3. If he is defensive, disarm him. You know him best. You know what buttons he is sensitive to. Find something to compliment him about and say, “I want to feel closer to you and I don’t know how.”

4. Plan a candle light dinner to celebrate yourselves. No matter what, you are together for a reason and a little night music with candles is always appreciated. Reminisce over your first couple of dates and ask him, “Wouldn’t it be nice if we went back to one of those places?”

5. Write him a long letter. One that is NEVER TO BE SENT. Write to his best self, the boy he was and still is…maybe deeply guarded and overwhelmed. Tell him your hopes and dreams for each other. Write in detail and let yourself empty your heart of what you long to say. If you do this everyday for a week…you will be stunned at the change.

Lastly…..STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM, period. Words are powerful. More powerful than we give them credit for. If you wouldn’t say it in front of him….DON’T SAY IT!

Will he be miserable really? Who knows. If you change radically how you handle your disappointments in the relationship, at least it will be a fresh playing field. He may not know quite how to manage the new game but if your are supposed to be together, you will see signs that your work is paying off!

Once you follow these five steps, you will feel amazing! You will unload your backed up feelings safely and the rush of creative energy will show you that you are on the right track!  Besides, you will remember why you fell in love with him in the first place!

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