Tag Archives: man

I Love You—Why Is It So Hard For Him To Say?

Be A Love Detective bigstockphoto_close_up_on_love_3289620

“My husband never says, I love you anymore.”

Why is it that men are so resistant to the “L” word?

Why is it that women are so addicted to it?

Does saying “I love you” really matter?

What? You say.

Of course it matters. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t love me.

Wait just a moment….did you say that a man cannot love you without saying I love you?

Think about that one for a minute.

Is it possible for a man to love you WITHOUT telling you so? And why is it so bleeping important to HEAR those three little words.

That being said, is it also possible that our addiction to hearing those three words closes us to other expressions of love that are right in front of our noses?

I want to throw another perspective unto the table.

What if we women could back off on our insistence that love be expressed on our terms and our terms only?

What if we could become Love Detectives and search out the clues that lead to our understanding of just how much our men DO care for us?

What if we could put aside our need to hear those words and instead begin celebrating the clues we find?

I am listening……

I can just hear some of you screaming in protest! “I already do most of the work and don’t want to be a Love Detective! I want him to shape up!”

I know, I know but believe me, your man will step up to the plate when you take some of the pressure off of him. Believe it or not, he is doing the best he can. He has no idea how to make you feel loved and you and I both know that men don’t like to be in situations where they may appear weak and clueless.

So what to do?  Tune in tomorrow and I will lay out the plan…..

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How To Make Your Man Miserable

Someone typed that into the Google window on their way to finding this blog and I couldn’t resist!

Why in the world would you want to make your man miserable anyway? The answer may surprise you!

If your relationship is taking on water and you are bailing as hard as you can to stay afloat, there are some things you can do to get him to share some of the work.

Women complain that “He just sits on the couch and tunes me out.”bigstockphoto_o_no_i_don_t_want_to_listen__307379

Then they tell their circle of friends all about it and what do you know….everyone jumps in and before you know it, you have each described your man’s weaknesses and bad habits heavily laced with mean spirited emotion.

Ladies, READ THIS CAREFULLY, the way to make your man miserable is to make yourself ecstatic!

Once he is left with his own grumpy self and can’t fling it at you, he just might start picking up the slack.

I know, I know, I can hear you: “But it isn’t fair….HE is causing all of the problems. If HE would get up off the couch and fix a few things around here, I wouldn’t be so stressed. Why should I do the changing when HE is the problem.”

Whenever you are talking more about him than yourself, you are in the PERFECT PLACE to make a radical shift in how you operate. Try these 5 ideas and see if you can rock your relationship world out of miserable and into restore mode:

1. When he is being a grump, go for a walk. A long one. Plug in your Ipod and listen to your favorite music and kick it into gear. Leave him alone with himself and refresh your mind and spirit!

2. If he is buried in his newspaper and not listening to you, light the corner of his paper with a match…..no, PLEASE DON’T DO THAT, even if you want to. Ask him to put the paper down and set a time for you to check in with each other. Tell him that you want to engage with him for 10 minutes and then stick to it!

3. If he is defensive, disarm him. You know him best. You know what buttons he is sensitive to. Find something to compliment him about and say, “I want to feel closer to you and I don’t know how.”

4. Plan a candle light dinner to celebrate yourselves. No matter what, you are together for a reason and a little night music with candles is always appreciated. Reminisce over your first couple of dates and ask him, “Wouldn’t it be nice if we went back to one of those places?”

5. Write him a long letter. One that is NEVER TO BE SENT. Write to his best self, the boy he was and still is…maybe deeply guarded and overwhelmed. Tell him your hopes and dreams for each other. Write in detail and let yourself empty your heart of what you long to say. If you do this everyday for a week…you will be stunned at the change.

Lastly…..STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM, period. Words are powerful. More powerful than we give them credit for. If you wouldn’t say it in front of him….DON’T SAY IT!

Will he be miserable really? Who knows. If you change radically how you handle your disappointments in the relationship, at least it will be a fresh playing field. He may not know quite how to manage the new game but if your are supposed to be together, you will see signs that your work is paying off!

Once you follow these five steps, you will feel amazing! You will unload your backed up feelings safely and the rush of creative energy will show you that you are on the right track!  Besides, you will remember why you fell in love with him in the first place!

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