How To Make Your Man Perfect has transitioned to:
Soul Mate Savvy
It Takes A Soul Mate to Know A Soul Mate
Click here to continue to follow me to Soul Mate Heaven!
How To Make Your Man Perfect has transitioned to:
Soul Mate Savvy
It Takes A Soul Mate to Know A Soul Mate
Click here to continue to follow me to Soul Mate Heaven!
Once upon a time, a young mom with a bright, beautiful future embraced her life with all of her heart.
She loved her children, her husband and her life. She had no idea what lay ahead for her. She adored being a mom and was lucky enough to be able to take a couple years off to spend at home with her kids.
What she couldn’t see happening at the time was the slow, steady and inevitable diminishing of her connection to her husband and their marriage. Who knows what the first clues were.
She didn’t hear her heart whispering to her, “Something is wrong here, recalculate your settings, you are closing yourself to the dreams of love for the sake of avoiding conflict and fighting.”
Because she couldn’t hear the wisdom of her heart, calling her to see LOVE as something she could nurture and invest in, she began FIGURING OUT how to find happiness.
Instead of living a HEART CENTERED LIFE, she cleverly created an INTELLECTUAL AND HEAD CENTERED LIFE that worked, or rather seemed to work, for many years.
She had no idea how much more difficult, in fact, how nearly impossible it is to create a sustainable relationship with HEAD CENTERED reasoning.
She felt strong and capable, and no, she DIDN’T FEEL LOVED, the way she felt others were loved, but she made her home, raised her children, went back to work and lived life figuring that FEELING DEEPLY LOVED was just not her fate.
Fast Forward…..Children grown, marriage in pieces, heavily medicated with anti depressant medication–a life changing AHA experience woke her up from her complacent coma and blasted her into a completely different world.
The girl in this picture, the 29 year old mom glowing with hope and purpose, is me. I am so glad that even though life has taken paths I never anticipated, I STILL BELIEVE IN LOVE…..1000%.
I believe in SOUL MATE LOVE even more than I ever did. I know my first husband was my soul mate. I loved him completely and focused my life around him. I have two fantastic children and the world’s cutest grandbaby.
I also have been blessed with a SECOND SOUL MATE….a second chance at love….a second chance at life as someone’s BELOVED.
DON’T GIVE UP ON LOVE.
IF YOU BELIEVE THERE IS A SOUL MATE OUT THERE……DON’T GIVE UP!
IF YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN BRING SOUL MATE LOVE BACK INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP….YOU ARE RIGHT!
Being someone’s BELOVED is a sweet deeply soul satisfying place to live.
I wish that for each and everyone of you!
Together we can create HEART CENTERED relationships, we have much to teach to one another and we MUST START AT HOME.
Can you be the SOULMATE OF YOUR SOUL? Are you willing to BE THE SOUL MATE your future partner is searching for?
Sound in….DO YOU STILL BELIEVE IN SOUL MATES?
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Why is it so easy to see what others are doing wrong, and so difficult to see our own errors in judgment?
Why are we born with this self defeating tendency?
When I read in the Abraham Hicks material that The Art of Allowing is the decision to let people other people live life as they choose with no opinion making by me, I was surprised.
Could my choice to stay out of other people’s business actually improve my chances of receiving the love I was asking the Universe for?
But, I KNOW they are making mistakes.
Really? Just how sure am I about that?
Ok, let’s test it out. A friend of mine is racking up a lot of credit card debt. I see it happening and it makes me worry. Should I say something or not?
Even if I do not say something, inside of me there is a strong current of thought all about them, their choices and their potential consequences.
Even as I write that, a part of me sees how pointless that is. I don’t really have any power to change their choices, even if I did confront them on their spending habits. Besides, look how much of my time and energy I am putting into someone else’s drama!
Just what are my options anyway? If I say something, will it benefit our relationship? Probably not. No one likes to have their weak spots pointed out.
If I don’t say anything and keep worrying about it, I have no peace of mind about it. After all, anyone can see that they are making the “wrong” choices. If I choose to say nothing and then work on my worried thoughts, at least I have something I can do.
After all, they are MY thoughts and thoughts can be changed. Do I really want to spend so much time thinking about someone else’s life?
I can help myself focus on my worry habit and who knows, maybe my choice to stay out of their business will bear more fruit for my life and their lives too.
Abraham Hicks thinks so. He teaches us clearly that if we want to allow our good to come to us, we can speed up our progress by allowing other people’s lives to unfold without our interference.
Now there is a challenge worth taking on!
How does my worrying about others affect my relationship with my man or finding my soul mate? Plenty. Worry, anxiety and complaining are not exactly the ways to a man’s heart. Learning to let go of those low vibrating thoughts and allowing my friends and family to choose their own paths frees me to think about more joyful things.
Joy and peace are VERY attractive to friends and lovers. Choosing to let others live their lives without my input equips me to be lovingly detached from my man’s personal choices. When he feels less pressured to measure up to my expectations, he is opening up to me in very real ways.
That makes me feel loved and respected….and that feels delicious!
Looking for more ideas on how to enhance your relationship? Would you like to feel more loved and cherished? Maybe your Love Set Point is set too low. Take control of your love life! Click here for a complimentary strategy session.
Isn’t it interesting how well you get along with a new man? My husband and I still enjoy a wonderful rapport but in the beginning we saw each other in such a good light! Seriously, a huge chunk of the magic of beginning a relationship is that no one gets annoyed, isn’t it? What a delicious, soul-satisfying time that is. Too bad we don’t know how to appreciate it at the time!
When real life starts and you and your soul mate start to let your guard down a bit and express frustration, it CAN get a little scary. It seems like it would be nice to go back to the blindness of a hormone overdose, but ladies, I am hear to tell you, learning to let him evolve into the fabulous man he is, is the only way to go.
Once you get that being upset about something is about the most valuable thing that can happen to you, that is if you want to learn to tune into your man, you will never look at road rage or your man’s family or friends in the same way again!
I used to run like crazy from being upset. If I felt my man was upset with me, I would do everything I could to pretend that I wasn’t upset by the fact that he was upset. I always tried to keep one step ahead so he wouldn’t be upset. It’s exhausting for me to think back to that time. No wonder I was struggling.
I wish I would have known how easy it can be to process the past disappointments. Finding a calm frame of mind is not only possible, it is a skill you can learn yourself and is always immediately available. Whether you use guided meditations, meditation, prayer or even a talk with a good friend, you can learn to ease your emotional discomfort smoothly and steadily.
Decide today that you are going to practice paying attention to what you are thinking about. Louise Hay is famous for saying, “Stop terrifying yourself!” She is right. Any thought can be changed. I realized that I was spending all of my time thinking about how not to upset my man instead of thinking about the love and closeness I wanted with him.
When your thoughts are balanced and you choose what you think about, you are much more Teflon-like in your tendency to let other people’s stuff get to you. You take things more lightly and you are physically relaxed and comfortable.
Now when something or someone is bothering me, I am getting much better at stopping my scary thoughts and as I do, something amazing happens! Even one slightly more positive thought automatically attracts another and before you know it, I am distracted and not upset anymore. Sometimes simply thinking, “I want to feel better” is all I need to think.
If I feel my man is annoyed with something I have done and he withdraws emotionally from me, it is NOT comfortable at all. In my first marriage, I ran from facing my inner pain because I didn’t know any better. Bless my heart, I even blamed him a lot of the time because I was so miserable. Bless his heart, too.
Now that I have the incredible gift of a second chance to live out a relationship in a radically different way, I am soaring! When I get scared, I practice listening to my thoughts . Now I can acknowledge my uneasiness and then choose to think about my resilience and strength. I am learning to talk to myself the same way I would encourage my best friend…kindly and lovingly.
You owe it to yourself to learn the fine art of managing your thoughts. It is the sure way to create radiant self confidence and that is very attractive!
From The E Mail Bag
Andreya writes: “I do want to be with my body/mind/soulmate. I don’t remember being abandoned by girlfriends while I was dating someone nor when I broke up with him. I found my girlfirends most supportive. This was true for boyfriends and when I divorced…..
I have long-term male and female friends, friendships lasting decades. I am visiting a guy friend and his family as well as a single friend for two weeks each on my trip to California….
AND, I am still single and would prefer to be with my body/mind/soulmate. (I want it all.)”
Thanks for your post. I admire your ability to sustain lasting relationships for so many years. It is comforting to have a host of supporters…like the cell phone commercial! Even though you have wonderful friends, there is no doubt that what you want (to meet men who could be that Soul Mate) is not measuring up to what is happening (you are only meeting men who do not qualify or you are not meeting new and interesting men at all).
What I do know for sure from my work with highly successful women who are not with the man ideally suited to them for a long term relationship, is that they are not aware of the image they are projecting to the world.
Most are stunned to realize that they are projecting an “I’m not available” image. Not only that, little do they know that this image or vibe is amazingly efficient at keeping the “right” type of man out of their experience.
How do I know this to be true? Exactly, how many prospects with real potential have you dated in the last year? I rest my case!
If you think you might be sending out this “I love being single” vibe when you want to be sending a “I’m ready for a man with substance ” vibe, it is wise to look deep within your heart to see what is behind your singleness.
One way to approach this is to take a few days to compile a list of all the best parts about your life right now. What are the advantages of being single? While you might not come up with many at first, if you work on this for a couple of days, you may surprise yourself. Once your list is complete, go through each item and decide mindfully whether or not you are negotiable on it.
This self reflection may be just what the doctor ordered in helping you discover why you are still single. If you still don’t see yourself as unapproachable, ask a close friend to go through your list with you. Her view of your current state of affairs or lack of (sorry, couldn’t resist) may add extra dimension to your self inquiry.
Once you unearth the root to your singleness, you will have one of two outcomes. One, you may indeed embrace your singleness with new passion as it IS life affirming for you or two, you will find yourself in the right place and the right time more often where you will cross paths with many more interesting and available men!
Talk about a win-win!
Good luck to you, Andreya!
Looking for more ideas on how to enhance your relationship? Would you like to feel more loved and cherished? Maybe your Love Set Point is set too low. Click here for a complimentary Love Set Point Consultation.
The Answer May Surprise You.
The disappointment I hear in the voices of the women who are lonely and looking for romance in their lives is haunting.
“Why do I keep attracting the jerks and losers?”
“All of the men in my age group are married or satisfied with being single.”
“What if I never meet the love of my life?”
There is a hidden key to finding the man of your dreams and believe it or not, it has nothing to do with your past lovers or the emotionally distant relationship you might have with your dad.
The key to finding a man who gets you and loves you is to fully recover from the hurts from the women in your past.
What you say?
How can my friendships with women have anything to do with finding my soul mate?
Let me tell you a story.
When Janna went to college, she felt really lucky. She hadn’t fit in with the cool kids in high school and was a loner. College was different though. She met people she could relate to and began to find friends.
Naïve and open, she began to trust these girls and let herself be known more and more deeply. It was fun to come home to the dorm and always find someone up, no matter what time it was, to share about dates, guys and guys.
These were really great friendship times and Janna flourished.
Then, out of the blue, Janna met a guy of her own. It was an instant crush. Every cell in her body vibrated when she thought about him. Body, mind and soul all completely captured by this wonderful man.
She fell hard and, lucky for her, so did he. Janna and Dan began hanging out together as often as they could. They didn’t really date, they just hung out. It was comfortable and fun and felt very right.
What happened next with her girlfriends blindsided her completely. Janna’s roommate, Kate, was going through a messy breakup with her longterm boyfriend at the time. Somehow, they saw Janna’s time spent with Dan as an abandonment of Kate.
As they made their stance more and more clear, Janna was faced with a difficult choice. Her girlfriends or…..her soulmate.
Of course she chose Dan. He was her whole world.
What a time it was. The chemistry was strong and steady. They got each other. It was so easy to be together and they couldn’t get enough of each other. It was completely natural for them to spend more and more time together. And so they did.
The price was high though. In the not fully informed decision making of a teenage crowd, Janna was excised from the group. At the time, it didn’t seem to matter. The hurt and disappointment was completely hidden by the overwhelming chemistry between Janna and Dan.
The loss of the friendships, the support, the smiles, the involvement the fun of girlfriendness was never addressed.
When Janna and Dan broke up after a passionate, complicated and significant length of time, Janna was left not only without her soulmate and her girlfriends, she also had taken a huge hit in the area of trust. After all, she had picked those girls and her soulmate and those choices were filled with drama and trauma.
Unaware of the unexpressed disappointment still deep in her memory, Janna never trusted women again. Holding her heart closed from other girls, she could comfort herself knowing she couldn’t get hurt like that again.
Fast forward ten, twenty years or so. Janna now has had many women friends over the years but few that have sustained themselves. She is lonely and, truth be told, desperate to meet a man to be with. She wants what she had with Dan. She wants to feel that excitement again. The wanting of it is steady and intense. “Where is he?” She cries into her pillow at night. “Why can’t I meet him?”
The betrayal of women, by women, is the single most injurious of emotional wounding. Self protective postures and behaviors keep women at arms length from each other.
Ask yourself, how many women do I trust completely?
Unless you are very different than most, you come up with a very low number.
What in the world does all this have to do with your invisible soulmate?
When you are drawn into a romantic relationship with an unconscious (which by its nature is naïve and open, bless its heart) desire to fulfill both a girlfriend’s and a boyfriend’s roles, the result is always devastating. Whether it ends sooner or later, the results are the same. The relationship is lopsided and, without help, pretty doomed.
Not many men are going to be attracted (in the invisible but oh so real world of energetic signals.) to you with this signal. Men run from neediness every time. They can’t be everything to you and you wouldn’t want a man who thought that he could. Trust me.
They read it with their Man Radar.
Yuck, you say, I don’t want to radiate that!
Are you ready to start doing things differently?
How serious are you about finding your soul mate?
Take an inventory and see how many of your past female friendships ended badly. Check in with your heart to see if past betrayal still hurts.
Are you holding yourself back in your search for your soulmate because the pain of a broken heart seems worse than being alone?
Learning to open your heart again toward women will put you on the fast track to receiving the man the Universe has been trying to bring to you.
Before you say that you don’t have any issues with those mean girls, ask yourself this question:
Why am I still single?
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